What conversations are you not having, that you should be having?
Before we dive in, I want to check in: how’s it been since my last newsletter? The one where I asked—What are you pretending not to know, that you know?
Did you face the truth, or are you still lying to yourself?
Either way, I’d love to hear how it’s going. Hit reply to this email or shoot me a DM on IG: @adammock.lcs.
Here’s why I’m asking: that question was only the first part of a 1-2 punch.
And, here comes the second swing…
What conversations are you not having,
that you should be having?
You know the ones I’m talking about.
The ones you avoid.
The problem is, every conversation you avoid doesn’t just disappear. It builds pressure. And the longer you hold off, the more it creeps into other areas of your life.
You carry it to bed with you, run it through your mind in the shower, and it pops up at the worst times—like when you’re sitting in traffic or trying to fall asleep.
It doesn’t care if you’re tired or busy.
Avoidance isn’t saving you. It’s stealing from you—your peace, your clarity, your energy.
It’s like ignoring the smell of smoke in your house. At first, it’s faint—just a whiff. You convince yourself it’s nothing. Maybe someone left a candle burning, or the neighbors are grilling. But the smell lingers, and soon you notice it creeping into every room.
You tell yourself it’s probably fine. But deep down, your gut knows: Something’s burning. The longer you wait, the more the fear builds—until suddenly, it’s too late. The fire is real, and now it’s spreading faster than you can control.
Avoidance works the same way.
You might think you’re avoiding discomfort, but really, you’re creating a slow-burning kind of suffering. You're magnifying your pain. And here’s the worst part—most of the conversations you avoid are the ones that could actually free you if you just had them.
So, it’s time to face the things you’ve been avoiding. You don’t have to fix everything today, but you do need to take one giant step forward.
4 Steps to Have THAT Conversation.
1. Name it.
Write it down. What’s the conversation you’ve been avoiding? Be honest and specific. Don’t sugarcoat it.
Example: I need to tell my mom that it hurts when she criticizes how I parent my kids, and if it doesn’t stop, I’ll need to set some boundaries to protect my peace.
What to Avoid: Don’t downplay it with “It’s not a big deal.” If it’s keeping you up at night, it’s a big deal to you. Period.
2. Weigh the Costs—and the Gains.
What is it costing you to avoid this conversation? Think beyond just anxiety. How is it affecting your relationships, your health, or even the way you see yourself?
Now what could you gain by having the conversation? This is where you need to get clear about the possibility on the other side—whether it’s clarity, closure, or simply the relief of getting it off your chest.
Example: “If I don’t tell my best friend how much it hurt when they ghosted me, I’ll keep pulling away, and our friendship could slowly fall apart. But if I have the conversation, even if it’s awkward, I could clear the air and stop carrying this resentment.”
What to Avoid: Don’t assume the worst. Yes, it might be messy, but it could also lead to something better—an apology, a breakthrough, or even deeper understanding.
3. Take One Big Step Today.
You don’t need to solve everything all at once—but take a big step forward. Send a message, rehearse the conversation aloud, or set up a time to talk.
The goal is to build momentum, and action creates relief.
Example: Text your friend: “Can we talk sometime soon? There’s something on my mind and I don’t want it to fester and grow into something it’s not.”
What to Avoid: Don’t wait for the “perfect” moment—it doesn’t exist. Any moment will do. The longer you wait, the heavier it gets.
4. Stay Open to Being Wrong (and Things Going Off the Rails).
You might find out you’re wrong.
Or the other person might not respond the way you hope. Conversations like these can get messy.
But being wrong isn’t the end of the world. It’s part of being human.
Even if things get awkward or heated, you have to stay open to the possibility that things can change. No matter how certain you are that it’s going to go badly, you don’t know for sure until you have it.
And change—even the smallest kind—is always possible.
What to Avoid: Don’t convince yourself that avoiding the conversation is safer just because it feels easier right now. It’s not. Even if things don’t go perfectly, at least you’ll free yourself from the weight of not trying.
So now what?
Avoiding conversations might feel like protection, but it’s really just prolonging your suffering. You’re carrying around a weight that doesn’t belong on your shoulders, hoping it’ll disappear on its own.
It won’t.
These conversations might not fix everything right away. They might get awkward, and they might not go the way you imagined. But at least they’ll be out of your head and into the open.
So, pick one conversation.
Just one.
Take a deep breath—and take a big step toward it today.
I know it’s scary, it’s October.
* * *
If you want to dive deeper into navigating your way through suffering, check out my audio Rescue Your Dreams™ A Podcast to Save the Life You Forgot You Wanted.
Live right now is my new episode with Joy Thomas & Jenelle Landgraf, the brilliant twin sisters behind the Double Vision blog. And we talk suffering and compassion, which might just be the extra fuel you need to have the conversations you’ve been avoiding.
While you’re there, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next one.
If you’re interested in taking your life to the next level, you can schedule a free consultation call with me to see if personal coaching would help you Rescue Your Dreams™ so you can transform your reality.
Click HERE for my Calendly link!
Ever upward!