The Life You’re Missing
What we all want
If I offered you a guaranteed life of fulfillment, one filled with meaningful connection, unbridled laughter, a deep sense of love, and more moments that feel like your life is painted in vibrant, beautiful colors…
Would you turn it down?
Of course not. Because that’s what we all want.
And yet, the everyday truth for many of us is that most days feel like maintenance, or just getting through, or even pure survival. And that’s because of this weird little alien living in our skull…
Our brain.
And as much as we want our brains to focus on possibility, hope, and fulfillment, it’s just not great at it. Because your brain is wired to make sense of things and to keep you safe.
Meaning, it’s wired to keep you alive.
So, it scans for threats, what could go wrong, and it ruminates on what already hurt and still feels unresolved.
That’s its job.
And if you leave that as it’s only job description, your brain will spend most of its time searching for what’s missing, what’s scary, and what’s broken.
Which is a great recipe to convince yourself that life is nothing but pain.
And as the saying goes, what you focus on… you find.
Even I have to fight this
As a coach I help people get clear about what they want most, so they can stay focused on what matters to them and build meaningful lives.
Which might make you think that I’ve trained my brain to do the same…
And I have.
However, when left unchecked, my brain still drifts toward everything that’s going wrong. I’ll find myself focusing on what didn’t go well, what needs to be handled, and what might become a problem.
And when it does that for too long, I miss out on what makes life so fulfilling…
The small and simple, but deeply meaningful moments that are happening all around me.
And it’s happening all around you too.
The simple things matter most
The secret to fulfillment isn’t having a pain-free life. Because life doesn’t become meaningful when pain disappears. It becomes meaningful when you stop letting pain be the final word.
Because although pain is a natural part of life, peace, beauty, and love are too. And it’s in the everyday small moments where you’ll find them.
They live in:
Texts from friends that make you smile.
Irreverent jokes that make you laugh harder than expected.
A comforting hug that lasts a few seconds longer than usual.
Eating your favorite chips.
Blasting a great song on your drive home.
Sharing a meaningful conversation with a friend.
These moments happen all the time.
But most of us miss them because our attention is scanning for problems, bracing for what might go wrong, or replaying old pain.
And when that happens, peace, beauty, and love become almost invisible.
My morning practice
Every morning, before I let my feet hit the floor, I run a quick gratitude practice.
Cue the collective groan about another gratitude practice.
I get it. Forced positivity feels fake and exhausting.
So, I don’t do it that way.
See, before getting out of bed, I challenge myself to name three things I’m genuinely grateful for.
And the challenge comes from two rules:
Try not to make them all big things.
They cannot be the same three things as the day before.
So yes, that can be challenging when we think of gratitude as having to always be some big momentous occasion, like getting a promotion, or always giving thanks for someone close to us like our partner or our family members.
Those aren’t bad things—at all—they’re just easy targets to focus on. And when you only focus on the big things, your gratitude can feel a bit repetitive and even inauthentic.
So, the goal is to force my brain to not recycle yesterday’s list, and to look for what’s good in the small everyday moments, not just the big milestones.
Reflecting on something new I learned.
Looking forward to a show I’m watching.
The opportunity to take a walk.
Noticing strands of gray in my hair.
A text that made me laugh.
A shot of whiskey.
This kind of intentional focus shifts how I enter the day. Because what you train your mind to look for… it begins to notice more easily.
Train your mind to see what’s already here
Listen, you don’t need to pretend life is perfect. No one’s is. Pain is real and problems exist. But there’s a lot of room for other things too. Good things. So, the goal is to simply get used to expanding what you allow yourself to see.
Try this:
Slow down enough to notice one simple but meaningful moment each day.
And don’t just notice it and move on. Acknowledge it by sharing it with someone.
As silly as it sounds, think of it like that moment in the movie Elf when Buddy says, “Good news, I saw a dog today!” That’s the simple moment of reflection you’re going for.
It could be:
Having a laugh over something that embarrassed you.
A quiet moment where all you could hear was nature.
Enjoying a smoothie.
And yes, even seeing a dog.
If you want some extra credit to challenge yourself with, try my gratitude practice:
Name three things you’re grateful for before getting out of bed.
They don’t have to be big.
They just have to be meaningful to you.
And don’t repeat the same things each day.
So now what?
So, if you want a more fulfilling life, start simple and start noticing the small things.
Because this is really what a life is made of.
Ever upward.
RESCUE YOUR DREAMS®
A Guidebook to Save the Life You Forgot You Wanted
BUY YOUR COPY HERE
* * *
Check out my audio series, Rescue Your Dreams® - A Podcast to Save the Life You Forgot You Wanted and learn how some of the best practitioners of mindfulness, intentionality, and development discover their true selves.
While you’re there, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss the next one.
If you’re interested in taking your life to the next level, you can schedule a free consultation call with me to see if personal coaching would help you Rescue Your Dreams® so you can transform your reality.
Click HERE for my Calendly link!